Hot Yoga First-Timer

Last night was my first hot yoga class.  I signed up for a 3 month membership which allows for 3 classes a week at yoga studio nearby.  I knew it’d be difficult for a few reasons.  Flexibility is not my expertise.  I cannot even touch my toes.  My “workouts” have fallen to the way side, so I’m lacking strength and balance as well.  Oh yea, and the class is taught in Korean.

I knew all of this going in, but during tonight’s class, I felt it all even more.  It was freaking hard.  Everything about it.

I’m on my mat, unable to understand instructions, constantly gazing at the instructor and others for guidance (therefore not able to focus on my own posture and breath), legs shaking, thumping, falling over (many, many times), with sweat rolling down my face.  The sweat was 20% from the hot room, and 80% from the sheer embarrassment.

It was obvious to the entire class I was the foreign newbie.  Me- a body like wood, surrounded by yogis with their bodies like rubber bands.  I was so embarrassed.  But I kept telling myself to think- I’m doing the rest of a class a favor.  If looking at me, they could definitely feel better about themselves.  “Well at least I’m not as bad as her.”

The instructor kept visiting me, trying to fix my posture, while repeating her instructions (that meant nothing to me).  I gave her these eyes of “I’m sorry I suck,” and “I wish I knew what you were telling me.”  At about half-way through the class she realized I didn’t understand Korean well.  It was a little comforting because, at least now, she could figure it wasn’t stupidity that made me put my left leg forward when she said to me “right leg backward,” but rather a language barrier.

Throughout the whole class I felt overwhelmingly discouraged.  I couldn’t understand.  And even during parts where I thought I could understand, I just couldn’t get my body to do it.  Every pose and posture hurt.

After class I grabbed my things and walked in the rain, feeling down, towards home.  But despite the overwhelming bad feelings of my first night, I’m not giving up.  Because I want to see improvement even in the slightest way.  Besides, I already paid for 3 months.  If I don’t improve after 3 months, then, just maybe, I’ll throw in my towel.

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2 comments on “Hot Yoga First-Timer

  1. Nikki
    March 10, 2012 at 10:50 am #

    OMG I can’t touch my toes either! And I tried yoga once and hated it. I got way too uncomfortable in the positions. But I was with a bunch of beginners. You are brave!

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Did you do your best? | makings of a better life - March 14, 2012

    […] recently began hot yoga.  I quickly learned how awful I am at it.  But last week, when I was walking home I felt really […]

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